On The Bus
by ytteb
Summary: Ellie Bishop is trying to understand Tony DiNozzo ... and she thinks she's getting there until she overhears a strange conversation and has to investigate. This is a companion to a previous story 'Tony's Omnibus Odysseys' but you won't have to read that to understand this one. And this is mostly fluff ... for Christmas! Mostly Tony and Bishop with some input from McGee and Gibbs


Special Agent Ellie Bishop was puzzled. And Special Agent Ellie Bishop did not like puzzles: or rather, she liked puzzles but only if she could solve them. As her second Christmas with NCIS approached Special Agent Ellie Bishop was aware of a puzzle she was unable to solve and, unsurprisingly, the puzzle had DiNozzo written all over it.

Ellie knew that she liked to analyse things: it was one of the reasons she had done so well with the NSA and, after all, a job title of analyst was tailor made for her. Bishop's arrival at NCIS had made her realise that while she was excellent at analysing _situations_ she was less good at analysing people. Special Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo seemed to have an instinct for weighing people up and didn't share her frustration when people failed to act _logically_. As they would both say, they went where the evidence took them and didn't let it worry them that the people they investigated didn't act _sensibly._

Ellie felt that she understood Timothy McGee fairly well since they shared a common technical expertise but Gibbs and DiNozzo were less easy to get a handle on. Agent Gibbs impressed her from the get-go with his strong personality but she guessed that he had hidden depths which were too profound for her rookie skills to plumb. Ellie was a practical person and decided that she would shelve plumbing the Gibbsian depths until her people-reading skills had improved.

And so she turned to Tony DiNozzo who would, surely, be an easier assignment. Tony would serve as the nursery or green circle slopes on which she had learned to ski; once she understood Tony she would move on to the black diamond slope of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. More than a year later, however, she was still at work on the enigma that was Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

There were certain things that were obvious about Tony: he was very good looking and he was charming. It took a while before Ellie realised that the dazzling exterior tended to make people forget to look for other things or led them to think that the charm and good looks was all there was to find. Ellie, however, was logical and realised that the demanding Gibbs would not employ someone solely for their photogenicity … if that was a word. Other evidence about Tony was easy to gather: he was noisy, sometimes inappropriate, distracting and not as good at computer work as his younger co-workers.

As time went by and Ellie worked more with Tony she gathered other evidence: he could run fast, shoot well, make connections which solved cases and he seemed to know the meaning of all the acronyms so beloved of the US Navy and Marines Corps and, oh, he loved movies. It was possible, Ellie considered, that _love_ was an inadequate word to describe Tony's passion for the moving image but his knowledge was certainly impressive. And it was this thought that brought Ellie up short: Tony liked to play the fool or the idiot but, she reasoned, the extensive movie knowledge – and the ability to apply it to life situations – could not belong to someone who tried to give the impression that he had spent all his college years playing sport because that was all his limited brain cells could cope with.

So, Ellie decided that DiNozzo was smart and intelligent and generally more capable than he wanted people to know. She was used to being the smartest person in the room although she had to acknowledge that she might have to fight Tim for that accolade … a few weeks into the job she had to acknowledge that she might also have to fight Tony for the title although it was unlikely that Tony would think of entering such a competition.

As Christmas approached, Ellie thought she had just about got Tony worked out: bright, intelligent, funny, good looking, annoying (at times), a good teacher … and someone who sucked at maintaining relationships. He seemed to have _buddies_ in lots of places but nobody he was close to: the team was his family and, given the hours they had to work, that was not surprising. So, Ellie thought that while there was still work to be done on Tony she was ready, in the New Year, to move on to Gibbs. And then – she overheard Tony booking a bus …

NCISNCIS

"Um, Tim," said Ellie casually the next day.

"Yes?"

Ellie looked around to make sure that Tony wasn't lurking or that he wasn't standing in the _sweet spot_ which enabled whispered conversations to be heard from afar. "Tony," she said.

Tim dragged his eyes away from his monitor, "Yes?"

"Well," said Ellie.

"Yes?" said Tim for the third time.

"Yesterday … I heard him …"

"Bishop!" said Tim as he tried a different tack.

"I heard him … book a bus."

"A bus?"

"Yes, a bus! Why would Tony hire a _bus_?"

"You sure you heard him right? It wasn't a sub?"

"You think I heard things backwards?"

"Or it could have been code," suggested Tim.

"Code?"

"You know, he was ordering a sub … a roll … and he didn't want you to know."

"Why wouldn't he want me to know?" demanded Ellie.

Tim stared at her, "Bishop, if you knew Tony was ordering food you'd have wanted some too. Or perhaps he thought you'd hang around and guilt him into giving you some."

"I wouldn't do that," protested Ellie. Tim continued to stare at her. "All right, perhaps I would," she admitted. "You think that's what he was doing?"

Tim shrugged, "Who knows? This is Tony we're talking about."

Ellie went back to her desk feeling a little chastened that perhaps Tim could see through her as well as Gibbs and Tony did.

"Although he used to ride the bus to work," offered Tim as she sat down.

"Still does, sometimes," said Gibbs making one of his sudden arrivals in the squad room and proving that Ellie wasn't the only one who had located the sweet spot. Gibbs and Tim smiled reminiscently and Ellie frowned as she perceived another mystery. "Back to work," ordered Gibbs preventing Bishop from enquiring further.

NCISNCIS

Ellie put her analytical brain to work and realised that she and Tony usually arrived around the same time most days of the week. Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays when, so long as they had not been called in early, she often met Tony as they walked through security rather than in the parking area suggesting that Tony hadn't driven into work.

The thought of Tony riding the bus did not _compute_ with anything Ellie thought she had learned about Tony but she could not forget the softened expressions on Gibbs' and Tim's faces when Gibbs had spoken of Tony using the bus. She decided this was something to investigate – not least because she wanted to be sure that Tony hadn't actually been ordering food without letting her know.

Tuesday morning came and Ellie was ready. She had worked out which bus Tony would most likely ride and she was waiting at the stop near his apartment. But Tony wasn't. Ellie looked at her watch as the bus approached but there was no sign of Tony although she could imagine that he would always leave it to the last minute. Bishop decided she would have to catch the bus, she didn't want to face Gibbs' wrath before she had moved on to understanding him … she would try again on Thursday and simply keep quiet about that day's attempt.

The elderly man who was already at the stop gestured to allow her to get on first.

"Where you going?" demanded the driver.

Ellie smiled, "Navy Yard. Please."

The driver stared at her.

"Er, how much will that be?" asked Ellie.

The driver continued to stare. Ellie shifted uneasily wondering why she was able to take down hardened criminals but was intimidated by a Metro bus driver. She wondered if he was related to Gibbs. The elderly man intervened, "Come on, Herbert," he said, "Give the young lady a break."

Ellie looked puzzled. The elderly man patted her shoulder benevolently as he smiled at her. "Have you got a SmartTrip Card?" He looked at Ellie, "No, I guess not. Well, it's two dollars."

"Two dollars? That's very reasonable," said Ellie with another smile.

The driver continued to stare.

"And you need the right money," said her new companion.

"Oh," said Ellie, "Oh, of course. Let me see …" and she began to rummage in her wallet. She smiled again although she wasn't sure it was having much effect. "I guess I should have looked this up beforehand," she said.

The driver's stare was, obviously, silent but was very eloquent. There was the hint of a sigh.

"Let me," said the old man and he dropped some money into the container.

"Oh, but," said Ellie, "I can't let you do that."

"Too late," said the driver as he drove off.

The elderly man took her by the elbow and led her courteously to a seat. "It's always tough your first day," he said kindly. "You need to get a SmartTrip card. Makes life much easier."

"Yes, I'm sure," said Ellie, "Here, I've got the money," and she handed a handful of change over.

"Are you going to be riding the bus every day?"

"Er, no, I don't think so," said Ellie.

"Oh, that's a shame. Isn't it, folks?" The whole bus seemed to nod agreement.

"Oh, thank you," said Ellie. "Um, I think I'll check my emails …" and she dived into her backpack to retrieve her phone. It was probably her imagination but there was a collective sigh of disappointment from the passengers.

As Ellie walked through Security she noticed Tony coming from the parking area, "You drove!" she said.

"Uh, yes. I've got the dentist later," he said and wondered why Bishop was scowling at him.

NCISNCIS

Bishop was not to be defeated and Thursday saw her at the bus stop once more. The elderly man was there again. And once again, Tony was not.

"Good morning," said the old man. "You changed your mind!"

"What?" said Ellie before realising that sounded rude, "I'm sorry. I was looking for someone. Excuse me, what did you mean?"

"You said you weren't going to take the bus every day," said the man.

"I see. No, I'm not. Just sometimes," said Ellie.

"Oh well," said the old man, "It's not for everyone, I guess. Me, I love the bus … it …"

"Is here," said Ellie. "And I've got the right money this time."

Ellie triumphantly paid her fare and went to sit at the back of the bus. To her surprise the old man followed her to a chorus of 'Morning Joe'.

"I like to sit at the back," he explained. "Makes me feel like a kid again. What about you?"

"I guess," said Ellie. "But I'm not a kid anymore."

"We're all children at heart," said Joe. "Although I guess you're too young to understand that yet. Have you lost someone, my dear?"

"Excuse me?" asked Ellie becoming aware of an interested silence in the bus.

"You were looking for someone at the bus stop today. And I think you were expecting to see someone the other day," said Joe. "I hope nobody's let you down."

"No," said Ellie, "Nothing like that."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Joe. The passengers nodded agreement. "We look out for one another on the bus, you see."

"That's good to know," said Ellie warily, "Ah, you know … I forgot something. I have to get off!"

"But," said Joe, "But …"

As Ellie watched the bus pull away she wondered why she had panicked but there had almost seemed to be a hint of menace in Joe's words. She lifted a hand to hail a cab and decided there had to be another way of finding out why Tony was hiring a bus.

"Something wrong with your car, Bishop?" asked Tony as he walked through Security with her.

"Um, something like that," said Ellie. "Did you drive today?"

"Why the sudden interest in how I get to work?" asked Tony.

"No reason," said Ellie unconvincingly.

"If you must know, I have an important … date tonight and I needed to bring … stuff in," said Tony.

Elie went straight to the break room after depositing her gear at her desk: she realised that her change of routine had made her forget to pick up coffee. As she returned, she stopped in surprise when she saw a familiar figure at Tony's desk.

"We thought we should tell you, Tony. Martha and Seya agreed. We know that your line of work is dangerous … although Seya thought she might just be a stalker."

"Go on," said Tony.

"It's the second day that she rode the bus," said Joe. "But today, well, she was looking for someone. And when I tried to be friendly … well, she seemed to panic. Got off the bus. And the first day she got off where you usually get off."

"What did she look like?" asked Tony.

"Blonde. But I know you don't normally go for blondes. 5 foot 7, about 120 pounds. Brown eyes. Nice smile."

"You should've been a detective," said Tony.

"Years of making clothes fit," said Joe modestly.

Ellie tried to hide behind the wall.

"Bishop!" shouted Tony, "Come here!"

Ellie reluctantly emerged from her hiding place.

"Joe," said Tony, "Is this my stalker?"

"I …" began Ellie.

"Or the criminal mastermind?" continued Tony.

"But …" said Ellie.

"That's her!" said Joe.

"Joe, this is Special Agent Eleanor Bishop …"

"This is Ellie?" said Joe excitedly. "Well, Ellie, I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you. We've heard so much about you."

"You have?" said Ellie.

"Bishop …" began Tony.

"You call her Bishop?" interrupted Joe, "That's no way to treat a lady, Tony. You know, perhaps that's your problem …"

"I beg your pardon," said Tony hastily, not wanting to get dating advice from Joe, "Ellie, this is Joe. Or more accurately, Mr Josephs. You know, Joe, I don't know your first name."

"Arthur," said Joe, "But nobody calls me that. Although my Daisy did," he sighed.

"Er, who's Daisy?" asked Ellie.

"My wife. My second wife. She died."

Tony realised that perhaps, as Joe had found two women to marry him, he _should_ take dating advice from him. Ellie sighed sympathetically for Joe's loss.

"Um, how do you know one another?" she asked.

"Joe looked after me when I started riding the bus to work," said Tony. "And Martha … and Seya. But you probably saw them if you rode the bus this week."

Ellie looked blank.

"Martha was the older woman sitting at the side," said Joe. "With the knitting."

Ellie shook her head.

"And Seya might have been wearing a sari," suggested Tony. "Very elegant?"

Ellie shook her head again.

"Tut tut, Bish – I mean, Ellie," said Tony, "Observational skills are very important in our line of work."

"You made friends with the people on the bus?" asked Ellie.

"Sure," said Tony, "Why not?"

Something clicked for Ellie as she realised that perhaps she'd jumped off the bus because it had suddenly felt too much like being back at home in Oklahoma where everyone knew her and her business. And it occurred to her that perhaps Tony quite liked that feeling as it was something he hadn't known growing up.

"So, Bi-Ellie," said Tony, "Why were you riding my bus? And scaring the passengers?"

"We weren't scared, Tony," said Joe. "Just concerned."

"I wanted to make sure you weren't ordering food without me knowing it," said Ellie.

Tony looked at her blankly and then turned to Joe, "I think it's all right, Joe. I'll see you later, OK?"

"If you say so," said Joe agreeably. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Eleanor," he said. "Come ride the bus again one day, why don't you?"

Tony watched him go and then turned to Ellie and said sternly, "What's going on, Bishop?"

"I heard you hiring a bus," she said.

"Yes?"

"And I wanted to know why?"

"Why? I mean, why did you want to know?"

"It was part of my … project."

"Project? What project?"

"You."

"I think I need to be sitting down for this," and Tony pulled his chair out and sat at his desk. "Why am I your project, Bishop?"

"Well, it was going to be Gibbs but I decided to start with the green circle first."

Tony put his hands flat on his desk, rolled his neck a few times and then, seemingly refreshed by this exercise said, "Explain."

"When I started here, I realised I didn't understand you or Gibbs. And I thought I should. But I thought Gibbs might be …"

"… too difficult," supplied Tony.

"Yes!"

"So you decided to start with me?"

"Yes!"

"Because I was simpler?" said Tony in a slightly disappointed voice.

"Yes!" said Ellie, delighted to find that Tony understood. "I thought you'd be like the easy slopes you learn to ski on. You know, the green circle one. But I was wrong."

"You were?" said Tony more cheerfully.

"Yes. It took me a year to get this far. And I thought I'd worked enough out … not necessarily to understand completely … but a working knowledge. And I was all ready to start on Gibbs …"

"The black diamond slope?"

"Yes! And then I heard you hiring the bus."

"And?"

"It didn't make sense."

"And this mattered, why?"

"I don't know, it just did. And then Gibbs and McGee mentioned that you sometimes rode the bus to work. And I couldn't see a connection but I've learned …"

"To go where the evidence takes you," said Tony.

"And so I thought I'd catch the bus as well. See what I'd find out," said Bishop.

"OK, that makes sense. Sort of," said Tony.

"It does?"

"Sort of. But why did you say you rode the bus because you thought I was ordering food?"

"I asked McGee why you'd be hiring a bus," said Bishop.

"Yes?"

"And he didn't know. But he said that perhaps you were ordering a sub. Which is bus backwards."

"He did?"

"Yes."

"Why would he think that? Oh, wait a minute. He thought I was ordering a sub but trying to throw you off the scent 'cos you'd want one … or you'd guilt me into giving you some."

Ellie's face fell, "Do you all think that I'm obsessed with food?" she asked.

Tony stared at her in a way eerily similar to the way Tim had looked at her a few days before. "Pretty much," he said.

"Oh," said Bishop.

"But why did you say that to Joe just now?" asked Tony.

"'cos I realised that you might really be hiring a bus."

"And?"

"And you said you had a special date this evening …"

"Again, and?"

"And I thought perhaps you were planning a surprise for Joe and the others. And … and I didn't want to spoil the surprise," said Bishop.

"We'll make an investigator of you yet, Eleanor Bishop," said Tony. "You're a good girl, you know." Ellie smiled. "But it's all right, they know."

"They do?"

"Although there is something they don't know …"

"There is?"

"There is. Hey, if you're not doing anything tonight do you want to come too?"

Ellie thought rapidly. She knew Jake was likely to be working late … again and she would be going home to an empty apartment and a TV dinner. "You mean it?" she said.

"Absolutely," said Tony. "Besides, Joe likes you. It'll be fun."

"Do I need to go home and change first?" asked Ellie looking down at her jeans and sweater.

"To ride the bus?" said Tony, "Nah, you'll be fine!"

NCISNCIS

As evening fell that day, Tony and Bishop went to the main gate and got on the luxury bus that was waiting for them and sat as it drove to the bus stop nearest Tony's apartment where a crowd of people was waiting.

When everyone was aboard, Tony stood and made an announcement, "Everyone, we have a new passenger: this is Ellie Bishop!"

"Hi, Ellie," said everyone, except for Joe who called out, "Evening, Eleanor."

"Ellie," said Tony, "This is Doreen." An elderly woman waggled her fingers cheerfully. "That's Martha," another elderly woman smiled at her. "You know Joe. And that's Douglas," a young studious looking man nodded solemnly. "And this is Julia …" a young woman smiled and pushed a child towards Tony. Tony swung the boy up into his arms and said, "And this is Charlie."

Ellie watched in surprise as Charlie squealed with delight.

"Let's get this show on the road," said Tony, "I'll introduce everyone else later. And now, one – two -three …" And to Ellie's astonishment the passengers all began to sing _The wheels on the bus …"_

Elie went to sit next to the elegant woman in a scarlet sari, "You must be Seya," she said.

"Indeed," said Seya. "It is so good to meet you. We have met Tony's other co-workers …"

"You have?" said Ellie.

"Oh yes," said Seya, "It was quite amusing, you know."

"It was?" said Ellie, trying to imagine calling a meeting with Gibbs _amusing_.

NCISNCIS

"Why have we come this way, Tony?" asked Joe a few minutes later as they pulled up back at the Navy Yard.

"Ah," said Tony, "I thought it was time …"

"For what?" asked Martha.

"For you to meet the Night Bus passengers," said Tony.

"Who?" asked Ellie.

"The people Tony meets when he travels home at night," explained the shy Douglas.

"We've always wondered," said Julia.

Ellie sensed the excitement as six new passengers climbed on board,

"This is Basil," said Tony as a tall distinguished man in late middle age stood next to him. "Basil is a professor of film studies."

"And you catch the night bus?" asked Joe in surprise.

"I travel to watch the evening showings," said Basil. "There is always something new to see."

The other passengers nodded wisely as they understood why Tony and Basil would be friends.

A plump elderly woman came next. "This is Lilian. She's a retired trapeze artist," said Tony.

"I clean at the gym," explained Lilian, "I like to be around the equipment. It brings back memories."

"Hello. Lillian!" chorused the bus people.

"This is Millicent and Martin," said Tony as he introduced the next two passengers.

"Brother and sister," said Millicent, obviously wanting no misunderstanding.

" _Half_ brother and sister," said Martin, who also seemed to want no misunderstanding.

"They make muffins," said Tony.

"Millicent and Martin, the muffin makers," said Ellie softly.

"Wait!" said Douglas excitedly, "Are you Milly Marty the Muffineers?"

"We are," said Martin graciously.

"Hooray!" shouted everyone.

"And this is Jacob and his son Joshua," said Tony as he did a complicated handshake with Joshua.

" _Josh_ ," corrected Joshua.

"HI everyone," said Jacob. "Good to meet you. I work in the Navy Museum."

"Hi!" said everyone and, by common consent, shifted seats so that Jacob could go and sit next to single mom Julia.

"Let's go!" said Tony. Somehow Ellie wasn't surprised that everyone started singing _The wheels on the bus._

Ellie went and sat next to Tony, "Where are we going?" she asked.

"A tour of the city to see the best of the Christmas lights," said Tony. "Then we're going for pizza and ice cream. And later we're going to show _Forrest Gump_ as we ride."

"Forrest Gump?"

"Sure. The bus is important in Forrest Gump … it was Basil's idea," said Tony happily.

"Excuse me," came Martha's voice, "I have something for you, Tony."

"You didn't have to …" began Tony.

"Now now," said Martha, "You know how I love to knit …"

"Yes," said Tony, he rubbed his hand affectionately along the sleeve of his grey-green sweater.

"You made that?" asked Bishop. Martha nodded. "It's beautiful," said Ellie, "I thought it was one of Tony's designer items."

Martha smiled with pleasure. "Here, Tony," and she handed him a package. She watched as Tony opened it to reveal a grey scarf made of fine wool. "Dr Mallard said you should keep your chest warm," she said severely.

"Thank you, Martha," said Tony as he stood to kiss her. "It's great."

Martha nodded and turned to Bishop, "Eleanor, I have some wool in a very pleasing violet. I think it would suit you. Would you allow me to knit you something?"

"I'd love you to," said Bishop.

Martha's place was taken by Seya, "Tony, in case I forget, I have brought you some of my Indian snacks."

Tony's eyes twinkled, "Family party cancelled again, Seya?" he asked.

"Possibly," said Seya as her eyes also twinkled at some shared memory. "Another time I will bring some for Eleanor as well."

"Tony," said Joe, "Here's your jacket back. I repaired that rip."

"Joe's a tailor," explained Tony. "And he helps at a half-way house repairing donated clothes."

"What can I say?" shrugged Joe, "I love clothes. You still on for tomorrow, Tony?"

"Wouldn't miss it," said Tony. He sensed Ellie's question, "There's an exhibition at the Smithsonian about men's fashion of the 30s," he smiled. "It's great to have someone who likes clothes as much as I do."

"And don't forget," said Basil, "That's we're going to the Orson Wells retrospective next week."

Bishop relaxed. She still didn't understand Tony but she no longer minded because somehow she glimpsed that he did have the capacity for friendship and for happiness … but perhaps she would learn her lesson and not try to understand Gibbs!

"Tony," she said.

"Bishop?"

"Is there room on the bus for me, do you think?"

Tony laughed. "Always! Happy Christmas, Bishop!"

 _AN: and a Merry Christmas to everyone!_


End file.
